I’m so tired
Love is such a complicate thing. Break ups, make up, and the cycle repeats. And now, it’s over. Completely over. The two years we’ve spent together, no longer means anything. Picture perfect memories flash upon my eyes. They cut me like a thousand knives. Knowing that the dreams are shattered in front of my eyes. The dreams about us. The dream of me seeing snow for the first time. The dreams of us laying down under the starry night. It’s all gone. The future that I saw we had together comes crashing down into the ground. I don’t know what to feel anymore. I once promised that I won’t cut myself, but he promised not to leave me. So now that he broke his, can I break mine? The tears I try so hard to hide, never fails to escape every time a single thought of him crosses my mind. I’ve never felt so lost before. I’ve not only lost my love, I’ve lost my boyfriend. I wish there was something I could do to get him back, but it seems like letting go was the only way he could be happy. And I thought he was “the one”. I was so sure he was the one I want to marry. And now it’s all gonna be part of my past. It’s gonna be a long and hard journey to move on. It’s gonna be challenging to wake up by myself. No more morning calls, no more goodnight kisses. I’ve never been so emotional before. And I wish I could be happier. Eventually I will, but for now, I’m just hoping that the tears would stop flowing and that I can actually start laughing and be happy again. If only I had someone to talk to. If only I had someone to give me a comforting hug and tell me everything is gonna be okay. If only someone would actually read this and actually care enough. Goodnight, and I hope tomorrow would be a better day.
